The Laws of Motherhood
by adrigoose61
Summary: [Legally Blonde] Happily married, Elle Woods has survived Law School and Congress. But how will America's Favorite Blonde overcome...motherhood? Featuring a new little bundle of joy! R & R please!


_A/N: _Hi! This is just something of an experiment that I'm going for LB. There are RARE Legally Blonde fan fictions on this site which surprises me a little. I'm enjoying writing it though so there will be more. Ye be warned: This story is somewhat lacking a, um, plot. Haha. Nothing really _dramatic_, I don't think. It's more just "Yeah this is what's happening." Cute parenting... I don't know. Enjoy though! And review. I love reviews.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

The timer ticked in an agonizing, merciless rhythm that was about to send Elle Richmond over the edge. Her bottom lip was now pink and swollen from her teeth chomping down upon it, and her eyes did not blink. They only moved back and forth between the timer and the counter in front of her.

Elle was standing restlessly in the bathroom of her apartment, rocking on her heels, her arms crossed in front of her staring down at the lone E.P.T stick on the counter, waiting. Eventually, she began to pace back and forth across the tile, glancing at the timer every few seconds and then transferring her glance towards the hallway and living room to hear if Emmett was back from work or not. All that was heard through out the Paul Revere Arms apartment was the ticking of the timer.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

"Hurry…" Elle whispered anxiously, bouncing on her soles, wringing her hands together. How long does this darn thing take?

_Tick. Tick. Tick_. _BRRRING!_

Elle jumped in surprise, then in a flail of legs and hands, lunged towards the e.p.t stick. She snatched it up and stared at it hard.

Two lines. Two _pink_ lines.

Elle looked up and around, whirling her blonde hair about her shoulders, her jaw gaping. She looked down at the two colossal pink lines and jumped giddily with a loud squeal. She had studied the instructions long enough to know what this meant. Her smile stretched farther than it ever had. She bounced about the bathroom giggling and squealing like a little girl on a playground, her stomach flittering like butterflies.

Elle was pregnant.

Her mind reeled as she managed to find her way into the living room. _I'm going to have a baby…I'm going to have a baby…_ Elle couldn't get over how thrilling and terrifying that sounded. In a matter of a year, there is going to be a little baby crawling around this very living room. _Maybe the baby will be blonde…or brunette like Emmett. If he or she is brunette, I'm glad it'll be Emmett's brown. It's a nice color…,_ Elle thought, smiling to herself. _We'll need to buy baby clothes and cribs and strollers and make the other bedroom a nursery…Emmett will have to do a lot of that. I can't assemble things worth a darn_. _Emmett's better at those sort of--._

Elle froze. Emmett. What if he doesn't want a baby? The topic had come up every so often but they had never truly discussed it but it had always simply been assumed that they both wanted kids. _But what if my assumption was wrong? What if he gets mad?_

Elle scoffed out loud at the thought. _Emmett won't be mad…that's ridiculous._ Elle fell back onto the couch, letting her head fall back onto the back of the couch. _Yeah, it's ridiculous. Emmett will be thrilled. I know it. I know him. He will be. I'm getting too anxious. I'll have to think of a way to tell him. Oh, something really clever…He won't even see it coming. I can't wait to see the look on his—._

At this exact moment, Emmett came into the door, his keys jingling as he loosened them from the door.

Elle lifted her head from the back of the couch to look at him, her eyes slightly startled. _Speak of the devil._

"Hey," he said with a smile, closing the door behind him. He tossed his brief case onto the arm chair. "What are you doing home early?"

"Oh, um. Well, Mr. Novak let the few of us off that weren't on any cases. So, I decided to stay home with Bruiser." She lied, looking over at her chihuahua, who perked up his ears from his doggie bed. The truth was in fact, Elle took it off herself to do some "at-home-business." Luckily, Emmett bought it and nodded, unbuttoning some of his collar to loosen it and rolling up his sleeves up above his forearms.

"What about you?" Elle asked as Emmett fell onto the couch beside her, letting his own head fall back against the back of the couch, draping his arm across the top. Elle did the same, the back of her head against his arm and allowed her legs to prop up on the coffee table.

"Nothing really exciting." He said.

"Long day?"

"You have no idea."

Elle was about to reply when Bruiser yapped at her. She looked over at the dog and remembered she had to feed him.

"Hold on a second, honey. I need to feed him." Elle said to Emmett as she got up. "While I'm up, do you want anything?"

"Water, if you mind."

"All right. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." Elle got up and hurried into the kitchen.

Closing the door behind her, she leaned back against the sill. _This should be has hard as it is. Forget cleverness, just tell him right off. "Emmett, I'm pregnant." That's it. Just that._ Elle sighed and began rummaging for Bruiser's food. _Easier said than done._ _Shouldn't it have its own moment?_ Elle poured Bruiser's food into his tiny bowl. _Should I even tell him now? Maybe I could tell him later or maybe even tomorrow…_Elle reached into the fridge for the Evian bottle. _No, that's silly. Just tell him right now. Well, not RIGHT now. That would be really--._

"Elle?"

Elle gasped, startled, nearly dropping the Evian bottle. She whirled around to Emmett, who was leaning against the door sill, his arms crossed loosely.

"Oh, sorry." He apologized quickly, seeing her face.

"No, my fault. I was just, you know, lost in thought." She said, slightly flustered and breathless. "I don't have a case right now so I've been a little restless." She walked over to Emmett and handed him the glass.

"Thanks, honey."

"You're welcome." She said with a smile, and then promptly began talking to him again. "Anyway, I don't think that'll be the case soon because there's apparently this case that is causing hype in the office and Novak seems to pushing the partners to have me represent the defense."

"That's great," Emmett was getting amused by her mad rush of news and talk.

"Yeah…I'm not even sure what the case is exactly, they haven't approached me with it and it hasn't been in the news or anything yet. But it'll be nice to be in a courtroom again. If I do get this case, I'll be one step closer to partner which is exciting obviously and I'm pregnant."

Emmett ran a finger over the side of glass, swiping the water droplets on the outside clear.

"That's great, Elle. That's really-what!"

Elle looked at him sheepishly, still slightly flustered.

"I'm--."

"No, I heard you…" Emmett managed. Elle found it a near miracle he was able to speak with him gaping at her.

"That wasn't exactly how I imagined telling you but…" Elle said.

"When did you…" Emmett stammered, not even finishing.

"Just today. Almost right before you came in."

Emmett shook his head in disbelief, but a corner of his mouth was curving in what Elle hoped was a smile.

"And you're positive?"

"I'm pretty sure. I have proof on the bathroom counter. Plus…I'm late. So, I'm sure."

"Oh my god." Emmett ran a hand through his hair. He looked down for a moment and Elle studied his expression hard. For some reason, beyond her, she was nervous.

"Emmett?"

He looked up at her but said nothing. His eyes were moving from her eyes to her stomach.

"Maybe water isn't the right choice for a drink…" Elle said, half-teasing. She reached for the glass on the counter beside Emmett but his hand stopped her.

"You're having a baby."

It seemed as if he was confirming it to himself.

"Yeah." Elle said.

"My baby."

_No, the mailman's._

"Yeah."

Any remote anxiousness Elle was still carrying dissolved completely as Emmett's expression changed. Elle found it remarkably similar to the expression he wore after the Red Sox won the World Series-completely stunned and completely overjoyed. Just without beer and other whooping, fist-pumping men.

"So you're happy about it?" Elle asked.

"Happy? Of, course I'm happy! Elle, you're having a baby!" Emmett exclaimed. Elle squealed as he lifted her off the ground, laughing, spinning her about the kitchen. She giggled, holding him around the neck. He finally put her down and kissed her, still squeezing her tightly. When they pulled away, he cocked his head slightly, looking down at her stomach with a wide smile.

"I can't believe this…" he said in a low voice, pressing his palm against her stomach.

"Me neither. I know it's not really planned…"

Emmett scoffed.

"It doesn't matter to me. We both knew we wanted kids. Besides, the surprise is nice,"

Elle laughed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"You should have seen your face,"

"I was pretty stunned."

"And now?" Elle asked.

Emmett shrugged slightly. "Thrilled…scared."

Elle nodded.

"Me too.

They were both silent then, basking in the moment.

"There's so much to do," Elle said against his shoulder. Emmett grinned.

"Relax, we've got nine months."

Elle looked up at him incredulously, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh... Emmett. You have no idea."

-------------Elle bit her lip, gripping the armrests. She counted to three and with a heave, hoisted herself into a standing position. She let out a proud, satisfied breath, resting her hands at the small of her back.

"Well done, Elle." She said to herself before waddling into the kitchen. She was shocked at how fast 8 and a half months had passed by, looking fondly down at her very large, protruding stomach. Pouring herself a glass of milk, she left the kitchen, wandering into the hallway.

Elle had thrown herself headfirst into pregnancy and preparing to be a mother. In the first month, she bought nearly every book in Barnes and Noble, cluttering the living room with stacks of lessons and tips and breathing exercises. Eventually Emmett (sick of the threatening towers of What to Expect When You're Expecting doom that could topple anybody with a quick movement) assembled a shelf from the Container Store especially for the books. Elle smiled as she glimpsed at the shelf in the corner of the room.

She continued down the short hallway, her feet beginning to kill her, and stopped at the door opposite her and Emmett's room. She opened the door, leaning against the sill, gazing into the fully furnished nursery. It was in the first week of finding out she was pregnant that she immediately registered at Babies R' Us and her favorite, Pottery Barn. Whatever Emmett may have believed, stating they had a large amount of time to do everything, was ignored and proven wrong. Elle crafted the design of the room extremely carefully and precisely. Everything had to be absolutely perfect for the baby. It took almost 3 months for Elle to be totally and completely satisfied with the nursery. Most of those months were dependant on the sex of their child.

Elle grinned again, strolling into the room, running her hand over the slick painted wood of the crib. She smoothed out the pink quilt blanket that draped over the wooden rocking chair in the corner of the room before slowly sitting down with a sigh.

Elle and Emmett had agreed to want to know the sex of their baby and were both thrilled to discover it would be a girl. Elle had been worried Emmett would be disappointed it wasn't a little boy but he assured her it didn't disappoint him at all. Although, he did have some say and concern at Elle's insistence to repaint the pale yellow walls of the baby's room pink. He finally convinced to her to keep them the color and just buy a lot of pink furnishings.

Emmett had been a real live saver through out all of her pregnancy. There wasn't once where he hadn't been there-emergency or mild hysteria. He'd even survived all her mood swings, nausea and late-night cravings. Elle was pretty sure he was afraid something was going to screw up; even when it was obvious everything was going smoothly. Elle laughed, remembering the day or so after she'd told him she was pregnant that he came home from work, pale and stricken. Apparently, his students had opening expressed their congratulations, accompanied by numerous horror stories of pregnant women, births and babies-gone-wrong spanning from deformity, death and, the obvious _worst_, no sex for months.

Nevertheless, it was clear both were in great anticipation for the little girl; who was just about ready to pop out as far as Elle was concerned. She wasn't due for about 2 weeks but her newly equipped mother-sense was out of control.

A knock on the door snapped Elle out of her thoughts.

"I'm coming!"

With her usual 1-2-3-HEAVE standing theory, she managed her way to the door in a record two minutes.

"Who is it?"

"It's ME!"

Elle sighed with a smile, swinging the door open to reveal a gleeful Paulette Bonafonte-Parcelle, her self-proclaimed partner-in-crime, in all her tacky glory.

"Paulette! What are you doing here?"

"I came by to see you! I can't STAND that you're here ALL alone practically everyday, hardly able to MOVE with this little thing about ready to fly out like a little toboggan!" Paulette went on, entering the house.

Elle laughed.

"Well, Emmett will be home soon but come, sit. Do you want any-?"

"Noo…you sit, honey. I'll get a drink myself. Would you like me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine.

"If you're sure," Paulette trailed off as she scurried into the kitchen, her turquoise heels clacking on the hardwood, her large breasts bouncing wildly at each stride.

Elle shook her head fondly. Paulette had a daughter as well, named after Elle-to her delight- and had been a big help throughout her pregnancy. Elle listened as Paulette rambled on about confidential gossip that one hears while painting nails. Today's scoop was of some young woman, still in her 20s, getting remarried to a senator after leaving her first husband because his political status was less than ideal for her.

"Wouldn't it be HYSTERICAL if husband number one became president one day!" Paulette exclaimed from the kitchen.

Elle leaned back against the couch, her body becoming unusually uncomfortable.

"Yeah, that would really show her what she—"Elle gasped before letting out a loud groan. A searing, uncomfortable pain shuddered her abdomen, pressure hard just below her stomach.

"Elle?" Paulette clacked into the living room. "What's wrong?"

"Paulette. I think I'm going into labor." Elle said as calmly as possible. She let out another loud gasp, reaching to grip the arm of the couch.

Paulette threw up her arms, letting out a squeal.

"Well, what are we still doing here! Come on, let's get outa here." She helped a panting Elle to her feet, leading her out the door.

-------------"Is he here yet?" Elle asked Paulette, accepting the glass of water.

"No. He said he was on his way," Paulette answered before leaving the room to call her husband.

Elle groaned, collapsing back onto the hospital bed. The duo had managed to get into contact with Emmett, who was right in the middle of a class. He said he was leaving immediately but it was Boston rush hour and God knows when he'd reach the hospital. Elle forced herself to inhale and exhale, deciding about 10 minutes ago that it actually helped the pain from the contractions. Her doctor said they still had some time until she had to begin pushing but Elle was having some trouble waiting. She had never sweated so profusely in her life and was attempting to ignore it-despite how disgusting she felt.

She had been able to get a call to her parents and close friends and many were either on a plane to Boston at the moment or waiting anxiously for a verdict.

"Hi, Elle," Dr. Keating exclaimed, entering the room. Dr. Keating was in her 30s with dark hair and a very cheerful, lovely face. Elle had immediately liked her.

"How are we doing?" she asked, wrapping her stethoscope around her neck, sitting at the edge of Elle's bed.

"Okay," Elle said, shifting slightly. She was still somewhat uncomfortable being so exposed to her doctor but was beginning to get used to it.

"Good. Good. How are your contractions? Still painful?"

"Yeah," Elle said.

"All right, we'll give you some more pain meds but this baby isn't _quite_ ready yet." She said, moving to Elle's IV pouch.

"Any word from your husband?"

"Yes, he's on his way."

Dr. Keating nodded.

"He's probably stuck in traffic. Rush hour can be a killer."

As if on cue, even before Elle could respond, the door opened swiftly.

"Elle!"

Dr. Keating nearly laughed out loud.

"Well look who it is! We were just talking about you," she said. Emmett grinned, although still looking quite flustered, and approached Elle's bedside.

"How are you doing?" he asked her.

"Pretty good, I think."

"She's doing just fine. Everything is going perfectly." Dr. Keating said, finishing up with the IV pouch. She turned towards the couple with a smile and extended her hand to Emmett.

"I'm Dr. Keating, Elle's doctor,"

"Emmett Richmond," Emmett greeted, accepting her hand.

"Nice to meet you. Well! We've still got a tiny bit of time but this baby is just movin' on down. Your contractions should start to come more frequently pretty soon which means we'll be ready. I'll be back in five minutes." Dr. Keating said cheerfully before leaving the room.

Emmett pulled a chair up beside her, allowing her to hold onto his hand.

"I thought you'd never get here," Elle breathed, looking up at him.

"I know, I'm sorry, I got stuck in traffic. Halfway here I was about ready to just get out of the car and walk the rest of the way."

Elle smiled. "Logical."

Emmett laughed but it was cut short when Elle was struck with another contraction. Her grip on his hand tightened so drastically that Emmett was caught off guard. His reaction was about as loud as her reaction to her contraction. It wasn't until the contraction passed that they both breathed.

"Man, I had no idea you had that kind of strength." He said with a grimace, releasing her hand for a moment to give his throbbing hand some fresh air. Elle grimaced in return.

"Sorry,"

"Don't be. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Elle said, breathing slowly.

"Good," Emmett took her hand again as Paulette returned to the room.

"Is it out yet!" she squealed.

Emmett and Elle blinked at her.

"No."

Paulette snapped her long fake nails.

"Dammit…"

Elle was hit with another contraction again, immediately squeezing Emmett's hand. This time he was more prepared, allowing his hand to be drained of blood while putting a comforting hand on her back.

Another one came just as Dr. Keating walked into the room once again. She placed a hand on Elle's knee until the contraction passed, then sat at the end of the bed for examination. Elle was panting now, face flushed, and silently prayed for it to be time.

Dr. Keating looked up at her and gave her a smug smile.

"Let's get this little thing out of here, shall we? Are we ready?"

Elle looked at Emmett then back at her beaming doctor, taking a tighter hold on Emmett's hand.

"Ready."


End file.
